#he checks on me every so often

[rubarb69]

The way the summer air is begining to blow in seems to make everything worse; hot sticky air and too bright sunlight reflecting into my glasses doesnt make me feel the way it should, the joy is gone and replaced with a melancholy hole

[krikidilly]

I cant be, what you need, I am stuck, in a dream, I am stuck, in a dream.

[coquelicoq]

i wish i cared about food because as a living organism i do have to deal with food every day...seems like it would be easier to deal with if i actively liked eating it and thinking about it. but instead food is just the most annoying of all the chores that life consists of because it's impossible to ignore for very long. i resent having to think about it multiple times per day. not going anywhere with this just vaguely jealous of people who like food lol.

[pixlatedvampire]

Been dreaming lately 🌜☁️🌈💤

[lesenbyan]

You know. I think I like G'raha for some of the same reasons people i know dislike him but likewise in the agreement on these facts is also why I dislike fandom G'raha. 'cause like. He isn't the same character as the Exarch. the G'raha we know and travel with in EW is not the same man as the Exarch, even with his memories, and I don't mean bc he's younger. like.

okay. I was raised on way too much sci-fi, okay? I got deep in it with paradoxes and time travel and alternate and parallel realities before i was 10. I had a lose grasp on certain quantum mechanics concepts at 13. you give me a time loop and I will immediately understand two things:

every loop is an alternate universe converging off of the same single point as there can be (are, depending) near infinite universes off of every single point in space (<- this is why AUs are called AUs after all) and thus

even if it's the same face, even if it's the same name. even if it's the exact same past up until now, even if everything is perceptibly the same, and this is crucial, they are not the same person.

(I promise, I'm getting there)

This holds true, even in a closed paradox bc you now have a chicken and the egg scenario. Like we all kind of understand the grandfather paradox, we understand that if we kill our grandfather before the respective parent is conceived we couldn't have been born and thus couldn't kill him, ad nauseum. but even if you close it. Even if, say, you're your own grandfather, every loop something's going to change, even if it's not noticeable, even if it's not in your life. something is gonna change. A fundamental fact of how i understand the theory to work (granted I'm no scholar) is every time you go back in time you're not actually going back on your linear time, you're creating an alternate universe which will then be the universe you also fast forward through when you go forward in time.

That being said, the G'raha Tia that becomes the Exarch is not the G'raha Tia that we know, this is proven the fact that the G'raha Tia we know cannot go on to become the Exarch bc the Exarch did not live these post 5.3 experiences. And from there that means the Exarch also didn't come from the G'raha we knew in Crystal Tower. CT and EW G'rahas are the same. the Exarch is from a parallel reality G'raha that yanked us bc the us from his reality died before he woke up and that is how that reality will always play out and we just so happen to be from the reality he reaches into/splinters to save a future. not his future. the people of his future are far beyond his reach and have been since he traveled to the First.

And I think all of that is incredibly fascinating. Especially bc if the G'raha we know was the base of the Exarch you'd think, now that the Exarch's memories are part of him he'd act more like him. but it still doesn't sit right on his shoulders. bc it's not him. This is someone else. this is a role he can play, a mask he can slip into, a dance he knows. but it's not who he is. it's not where he's comfortable, like he was comfortable for 100 years. You see it in Thavnair, you see him steel himself for it. he sees what's happening and he knows what needs doing bc he's got the memories of managing a panicked peoples before in the middle of tragedy. But it's not him. The Exarch is a different man. And I wonder, desperately, how G'raha feels about that man.

[baycitystygian]

guys. I'm freaking out I just had an Experience

[theoreticalli]

I put 30 tags on that dear evan hansen post. for the love of god don't click to expand the tags I'm so fucking sorry I just hate that awful fucking show so fucking much. oh fuck I've done it again in the tags here oh god

[dootznbootz]

I'm technically most likely demiromantic (definitely demisexual) which is technically on the aro spectrum but I'm sooooo romance favorable that it almost doesn't feel like it counts????

I'm a huge romantic sap but I'm kind of funky with crushes. I have them and I get them but I'm very particular and I almost have... control over them???

Like when I start to feel the feelings™, I then start looking at a possible relationship through "logic lens".

"Compatible here, there, there too. Okay, we're not with that though, and I will not move on that so therefore it will not work. Alright, cool! Best friend! Best friend! Best friend!"

I can just shut off the feelings™ once I get the feeling it's not gonna work, especially if it's on something I will not change. If I have a feeling there's potential, I let feelings "grow".

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol

[lazlolullaby]

Starmora is still canon, stop sinking your own ship

I'm not sure why people are mad or sad about the way Gunn "ended" the Starmora relationship? It's not over, it just went through a natural resting point after all of the stuff that happened in the plot???

Because even if the characters don't share a screen anymore, that doesn't mean it's over. That doesn't mean that love can't happen twice. Gunn has laid the groundwork - you can see it if you're looking at the characters.

Gamora has always been subtle. but she commits. She puts her whole traumatized heart into something if she believes that it's the right thing. She was raised by Freaking Thanos - she was (kinda) fine with him killing half the population but when Ronan wanted All of Xandar killed she Bolted. Betrayed Ronan and by proxy Thanos and Nebula.

After Endgame, she knows how to reach the Guardians if she wanted to. Heck, she's been talking with Nebula who respects that enough to only bring her on a mission that could kill a Guardian and end their found family.

About 75% of Gamora's lines are her denying that she's the same person. She's clearly pissed as hell that Peter is trying to "bring her back" when it's clear to her that she's fine without the Guardians.

At the end of the movie, if she wanted to be on the same team as Peter, she would have stayed on Knowhere. If she never wanted to see Peter again, she wouldn't have said anything.

By saying "I bet we were fun" its a signal to both Peter AND the audience that she is fine to stay in contact. That she acknowledges that her love with Peter could happen again.

As for Peter...

Peter loves HARD. He's never been subtle about it. He's never been subtle about feelings; happy, sad, angry, romantic - he boosts them up and uses them as a distraction, makes others think he's not sharp as an arrow.

He values Gamora's choices. We see him flirting at Knowhere, she pulls a knife on him and he doesn't directly flirt again for a while. You see that in Vol 2 when he's patient about her having feelings. He SHOT HER in Infinity War because she told him to. She's dead but she knows - she knows that's love.

We know he respects her choices in all situations...except in Vol 3. He's more childish and clingy especially compared to the other Guardians - they don't try as hard as Peter does to get her back. I feel like this is justified; he's already heavily traumatized from Infinity War and as acknowledged in the movie(!) Peter is dependent on Gamora in a way that the other Guardians aren't.

And with Vol 3, he's lost that part of him. He just wants "his Gamora" back. And it's cringy and sad and messed up.

You can parallel it to Thanos, who just saw "his little one", a daughter he trained to be a weapon and didn't acknowledge as a person. You can parallel it to the High Evolutionary, who wants his creations "perfect" and only sees Rocket as a failure that needs to be utterly destroyed.

(yeah it's a theme, its kickass writing, it's *chefs kiss* thank you mr. Gunn for tying this all up with a big fancy bow)

Peter is stronger than both of them. Able to move past what he thinks he needs and see Gamora as she is now instead of as he wants her to be.

"Like you wouldn't believe." He finally has something in his past that is complicated but at the end of the day, he can smile about it. An ending he can be at peace with.

Both of them know that they are not the same people that met on Xandar outside the pawn broker's shop. Fighting over their ticket out from under Yondu and Thanos.

But they know they could be good to each other again. It's just going to take some time apart.

[lyssafreyguy]

God . . . imagine thinking Laios is a bad person who doesn't care about people. actual insanity.

[skitskatdacat63]

I never see Sebs posts until like hours later when I come on here and eventually see it and it's just like OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEB!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CANT KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!!!!!!!!!! SEB ON HIS SHOULDERS 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 SUCH AN UNDERRATED MOMENT AND THEN HE JUST CASUALLY POSTS IT ON HIS INSTA OUT OF ALL OTHER PICS HE COULD'VE CHOSEN!!!!!!!! AND HE TAGGED MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LOSING IT AAAAAHHHHH

[freebooter4ever]

Sending love from one depressive spiral to another.

One thing that's helped me, as I'm coming out of this one, was getting my friends to pick prompts for me (to write in my case) which I then committed to filling BADLY. Because sometimes intending to create stuff that is just dumb and shit, means it doesn't mind that my brain tells me that it's dumb and shit because I'm like "yes brain, I know, that was the brief" and then before you know it you're back in the creating zone again

Tldr: commit to being shit. 🤷‍♀️

Hello, thank you! Depression is a little shithead because it takes different forms for everybody and sometimes warps depending on the circumstances so even when i think i have a handle on it and can prepare for gaps in my exercise routine that keeps me functional....something will happen and throw me for a loop and im back to struggling. For me, when im like this, that constant voice in my head drowning out everything else - and i mean everything - saying 'you're worthless, this is pointless' over and over and over and over is almost paralyzing. Try writing a cover letter when your brain is telling you that you are probably the most useless person ever and you cant see anything even remotely good about yourself. Its why i have friends proofread if i make any major changes to my generic letter content. Especially this one friend who has the same problem - he cant sell himself, i literally can hear him talk himself in circles into thinking he's old and washed up and not valuable on the market anymore - and i cant sell myself. But i think he's the most amazing talented person ever, and he's never said it but im pretty sure he thinks similar of me, so we check each others work pitches to make sure they sound suitably enthusiastic and glowing. Ive had other people also read my letters but if they dont understand how depression can sit on the brain and make it impossible to write this shit, they dont quite know how to help me. While my one friend who gets it knows that he needs to tell me 'hey, you left out this very important vital contribution to that one project, dumbass' (only nicer lol). So i have one very happy sounding, very aggrandizing letter that i tailor to wherever im sending it. But thats all stuff i need to do. Its vital, its a requirement, i can force myself to sit down and do it.

Personal art isnt exactly a requirement. So instead of making myself sit down and do it, i can just lie on the floor feeling numb and wish i dont exist anymore 🙃

[one-winged-dreams]

Heeeere comes another parental holiday

truama dump in tags

[autopsytableromance]

I know it’s bad bc he got a haircut and still want his stupidass :/

[willowfey]

i turn 25 in 5 days. does anyone have any advice on how to be normal about that